Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Clean out your vessel
Get the toxic energy out of your life
Get rid of the heart of stone and ask for a heart of flesh
Strip yourself of things that no longer serve you
Write it out….
I have struggled with my relationship with food from a young age. Food to me can be a distraction. Having had a history of eating disorders, this is my default when I get overwhelmed. I binge and then I feel bad, then the cycle starts again. In the past it was extreme. I would eat everything in sight until I passed out or I would starve myself for days. Now it’s a little more subtle. I will eat mindlessly and binge on sugar. I’m definitely addicted to sugar. I’m like the Lyndsay Lohan of sugar rehab. I’m in and out all the time!
I’m trying to get a handle on this. The root of this pattern for me is a lack of control. When life gets crazy, unmanageable, or unpredictable, I tend to get triggered. Eating disorders are normally a control issue. When life is out of control, you find something that you can control. For me, it was food and my body. I struggled with anorexia many years ago. Now, if you looked at me I didn’t look anorexic. At my lowest I was about 108 and I’m 5’4 so I was not emaciated looking by any means. However, just like all alcoholics don’t look like the guy on skid row, neither do people who struggle with anorexia. This is a mental issue. Now, I’m in my forties and I feel great. I’m feeling the healthiest I have ever felt. In the past, I would do cleanses and detox challenges to lose weight. I stayed away from doing them in the past because it was such a trigger for me. Getting triggered can put me back to the old patterns pretty quickly if I don’t stay on top of it. I can honestly say that I’m excited about doing this fast for spiritual reasons and to experience great breakthroughs and have more clarity.
The bad news is that since moving to Austin, I’ve gained about ten pounds! (Dang queso and Amy’s ice cream) the good news is I don’t feel bad about it one bit. My clothes still fit, I’m working out hard, and I’m enjoying life. When I lived in LA I felt like there was so much pressure to be thin. I’m not down on LA and this was just me. I feel like the culture that I was a part of was obsessed with weight and looks. I feel a little more free here in Austin. I appreciate the healthy, fit lifestyles of the people here without the added pressure of having to be perfect all the time:) So in cleaning out my vessel, I want to empty the dysfunctional thinking of food, my body, and all the stuff that goes with that. I want to focus on health, balance, putting in organic, pure, whole foods in my system and not feel guilty or ashamed of my body.
I just turned 44 years old. I have three amazing kids! I homeschool, run a business, teach fitness classes, volunteer, am committed to my church family, and I’m a wife of almost 18 years! I can still fit in my size 4 jeans from before kids and I practice yoga as much as I can. I have amazing, healthy relationships and have great mentors that I follow. I love what I do, I love serving people, and empowering them to live life to the full. I’m very happy. I commit to focusing on the good in my life because what you feed will flourish and what you don’t feed will die.
**** write down what you want to release from your vessel.Get rid of it.
Hope day 1 goes well for you!