Day 4 of April Challenge!

Day 4

It’s been a few days since I’ve written.  I’m giving myself permission to chill and listen to my body. Right now I should be sleeping but I couldn’t sleep.  I had a rough day today. In case you didn’t hear the news, we miscarried a while back.  I’m doing OK.  I was resolved with the outcome and pretty much just went on with life.  Business as usual. I’ve had spurts of sadness but I’ve been too busy to feel. Today I went to Target and walked by all the baby clothes and toys.  I watched the excited, expectant moms shopping with anticipation.  It seems like everywhere I go, everyone is pregnant.  It’s just a constant reminder that I am not.  It’s easy for me to just not think about it and go about my busy life.  My life is super busy right now. We’re in the middle of a HUGE move out of state and I have a lot on my plate.  I had to give myself permission to grieve and to be OK with being sad.  It’s actually easier to check out, numb out, and not deal.  In my fitness classes, I teach my clients to be in the moment.  I teach them not to be afraid of emotions, hard challenging moves, and to be open to the challenge. Just like in life, we are sometimes thrown a curve ball.  Sometimes, we don’t know why things happen.  I know for me, I can intellectualize it and just give myself a pep talk.  “It’s OK, everything happens for a reason.”  “God is in control.”  “It’s just not meant to be.”  Even though it may be true, it can divert my true feelings and make it harder for me to be in touch.  It’s OK to be sad.  It’s OK to be sorrowful.  It’s OK to be human.

1) YOGA DAY- How fitting that today is Yoga day.  Yoga really helps me to see the parallels of real life and my practice on the mat.  Yoga helps me to hear the chatter in my mind and as I hold poses, I can slowly calm the chatter and focus on the NOW.   If I’m all over the place in my mind, I’m all over the place on my mat.  It’s a great challenge mentally and of course physically.  I have to surrender to where I’m at physically.  I can’t fake it or force it.  I have to just BE.  That’s the beauty of Yoga.  You are forced to be your authentic self even if you’re falling all over the mat.  You can’t have ego in yoga.  LOL!  Another beautiful thing in Yoga is there is no judgment.  You accept where you’re at with no judgment.  Some days you feel stronger than others.  It’s OK.  I need to take some yoga today to learn some lessons on being present and being in the moment.  I hope you can join me.  Peace:)))

 

2) Mantra- Love is Patient

My mantra is simple today.  I need to be patient with myself.  To be honest, the day after my miscarriage, I taught a high intensity fitness class.  My doctor was not happy with me.  She told me I needed to rest and let my body heal.  In my mind, I was ready to go after my normal fitness regimen and go full out.  I felt good, I had energy.  I was in a hurry to get back in to tip top shape.  Why?  What’s the hurry?  I had to ask myself these question.  I think for me, it gave me some kind of comfort to get back on a schedule and take my mind off of the loss.  I listened to my doctor and took it easy for the next couple of weeks.  I have to constantly remind myself that I’m not in a race, I’m not in a hurry, and it’s OK to take some time to recuperate.  If I’m not patient with myself, how can I be patient with others.  In 1 Corinthians 13:4 It says, “Love is patient”….that’s all I have to remember.

So I ask for your patience as I’m going through this time in my life.  I may not blog daily but I’m always available on Facebook.  Please “like” us if you haven’t already:)))  I will host my next challenge group in June.  In the next couple of months, I will be moving and healing.  Thanks for your support, loyalty, and encouragement.  It means a lot!!!

Love you guys and I’m rooting for you:)))) XOXO!!!

Day 22 of Spring Clean Challenge!

Day 22

Well, I went to the Doctor and sadly I had a miscarriage over the weekend.  We were not very far along.  Initially, we thought we were already at 12 weeks but the ultrasound only showed 6 weeks.  I’m grateful that I didn’t experience a lot of pain.  I’m doing well and getting my energy back.  Thank you for all the well wishes and enthusiasm for my pregnancy.  Unfortunately, it’s not meant to be right now.  I have never had a miscarriage and it definitely helps me to have more compassion on others.  I’m thankful to be surrounded by such amazing friends and family.  I feel very blessed.

 

 

1.  Tuesday- Cardio day.  Go for a walk, run, hike, bike ride, swim, dance class, etc….
Whatever you end up doing, just move that booty!!!:))))

 

 

2.  Food- Clean Eating List!
I’m happy to report that kangaroo is on the list! LOL:)))  This list must be from Australia:)

 

 

3. Mantra for the day:  Surrender
Surrender and faith go hand in hand.  Being a Christian, it’s a given that I want God’s will for my life.  I’ve been living my life by faith.  The kind of faith that makes my knees shake and puts knots in my belly.  I love to conquer my fears and do crazy things that I would never do.  Now, my prayers have been, “God let me walk through every door you want me to walk through and close every door that I’m not supposed to walk through.”  Walking indicates ACTION!  I will keep moving until the door shuts.  Then I will move again in another direction until it’s clear that I need to go another way.  It has been such an amazing ride.  It gives me such security and I don’t have to second guess myself because I truly trust that God is leading my life.  So, even with going through a devastating miscarriage, I truly feel surrendered to God’s will and I feel a lot of peace.  I think it’s a blessing to be able to relate and comfort another person who has gone through the same experience.  I know I’ve been comforted by people who have wished me well and have been through it too.  Surrender is a beautiful thing.  It totally takes the pressure off of trying to be in control of everything.  I did that for a long time and believe me, I do not want to go back to that!  Thanks for letting me vent.  I think it helps to just get it out.  I’m feeling good physically.  Maybe it will hit me later but I’m not sad.  I’m resolved that this is how it’s supposed to be.  I will focus on what I do have and that’s a loving, amazing, encouraging, supportive, husband and three healthy, vibrant, funny, smart, loving kids.  I am surrounded by people who love me.  I am truly blessed.  I am humbled and amazed by the blessings.  Thank you:))))

 

 

Love you guys and I’m rooting for you!!!  XOXO:)))